incase i forget — letters from a sincere place (letter #3)

Note: incase i forget — letters from a sincere place is a compilation of letters written in seasons of wrestle and hope. since childhood, my favorite way to cope is to share about my days and my heart. life transitions can make the heart grow old and cold, but I believe each one of us will always keep a part of ourselves that can never be outgrown.

these letters are personal and I’m keeping them to remind myself how God’s grace and mercy carried me through different and changing seasons of my heart. in breaking and breakthrough, there is a God who cares and loves us deeply. if you ever find the time to read these letters, my hope is that it encourages you not to be strong, but to be unashamed of your vulnerability and brokenness. take the risk to bare your heart and always remember that Jesus delights when we lay down at His feet.

Written May 2022

This season,

there is a call to be emptied and a call back to our roots. it has been a decluttering, a refining, and a deeply confronting season — of removing everything that’s blocking my line of sight, everything that has been warring against purity and the power of God.

I have found that those who truly understand the weight of God’s calling value inner preparation over public display of purpose.
foundation over facade.
private altar over public display of faith.

Tonight the Spirit tells me that the darkest nights of my soul are actually God’s initiation of a personal revival.

The shaking has been relentless.. and I needed to see some cracks for my foundation to be set right, over and over again.

This month I’ve seen myself broken for deep and various reasons. There are times when words of men can really be overwhelming and contradict what God is telling you. There are moments when these words are too loud in your head, too heavy to take in the heart; times when they feel final and absolute.. but the Lord tells me to take heart, because He is in control and He is my friend. Now I understand why Jesus called the disciples to not merely obey, but to trust the Father’s words in every circumstance.

I would rather miss what the crowd is saying, than miss what my Father says. His words are the only words that matter. His truth is my truth. Who He says I am is who I really am.

I remember telling a dear friend, “kung ang ibang tao half-hearted ang pagdeal sa atin, si Lord hindi.” — He sees in full and He evaluates us with the best intentions.

This week I experienced God’s personal touch and I am never the same.

Dez,

Every season of your life your worship will be pleasing and honoring to God. Like David, you are going to be the song in the Lord’s hand and your worship will protect you.

You will be both the breaker of strongholds and the healing anthem of those around you. You will expose and break systems that dishonor God, and you will be a builder of a healthy body of Christ. Your mantle will be new and your anointing will be doubled. This year you will give your life again to Jesus and His Spirit will strengthen and establish you.

God’s ideas and insight will be upon you.

God will launch you to your divine destiny and you will see your breaking produce the greatest fruit.

By the grace of God you will serve with a pure heart.. you will lead by example and those who witness your life shall be greatly blessed. You will regain the strength you lost and recover your authority in Christ Jesus.

This battle-weary season you will see God turn things around for you. Your heart will be joyful and your eyes will see the will of God. You won’t miss God’s best!

Your yes will be precious and treasured. From that same place of hurt shall burst forth a new song of the Spirit and you will feel a new anointing flowing where you once felt dry and depleted. Sweetness will flow from a season of death and destruction. Shake off the enemy’s labels upon you! You are a child of God.

God delights in you.
God delights in you.” 😭

I remember these words because I recorded my worship and prayer during this night of seeking.

This is one of the boldest prayers I’ve ever prayed in my life. I know that those words are not mine, but God’s. That voice is not mine, but the spirit of God speaking and breathing life to my dry bones and weary heart.

Jesus, you are real and I am left undone by Your mercy and love.

I will remember this season not for its dirt and mess, but for Your goodness and grace.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” Romans 8:18

###