incase i forget — letters from a sincere place (letter #5)

Note: incase i forget — letters from a sincere place is a compilation of letters written in seasons of wrestle and hope. since childhood, my favorite way to cope is to share about my days and my heart. life transitions can make the heart grow old and cold, but I believe each one of us will always keep a part of ourselves that can never be outgrown.

these letters are personal and I’m keeping them to remind myself how God’s grace and mercy carried me through different and changing seasons of my heart. in breaking and breakthrough, there is a God who cares and loves us deeply. if you ever find the time to read these letters, my hope is that it encourages you not to be strong, but to be unashamed of your vulnerability and brokenness. take the risk to bare your heart and always remember that Jesus delights when we lay down at His feet.

Written December 2021

“If you are having an Elijah Episode”

We are all vulnerable after a victory.

Elijah wanted to quit — not before the battle, not during the battle, but after the battle (1 Kings 19).

As this season comes to an end, have you ever felt that kind of exhaustion — the kind of soul tiredness that shows up after a race well run?

If you’ve ever felt that, you are not alone. an Old Testament prophet felt that way, too (and that comforts me.) Elijah was tired, hungry, and emotionally drained…all triggers that make us feel as if we have just had enough.

This year I climbed mountains of offense, sorrow and grief. It is undeniable that hard stuff can wear us out and leave us feeling powerless. We are all vulnerable after a victory, just like Elijah.

But today I remind myself that I am writing, loving, and serving from a place of victory and not defeat. God is the same God who was with me before the battle, He’s the same God who was with me during the battle and in the midst of victory.

In every grief, real lament, real division and tension, and in the very real work of all kinds of reconciliation, the Lord is working out real blessings in all things. In vulnerable seasons like this, what we have to remind our soul is that God is in control and He leads the way (Psalm 23).

###