incase i forget — letters from a sincere place (letter #7)
Note: incase i forget — letters from a sincere place is a compilation of letters written in seasons of wrestle and hope. since childhood, my favorite way to cope is to share about my days and my heart. life transitions can make the heart grow old and cold, but I believe each one of us will always keep a part of ourselves that can never be outgrown.
these letters are personal and I’m keeping them to remind myself how God’s grace and mercy carried me through different and changing seasons of my heart. in breaking and breakthrough, there is a God who cares and loves us deeply. if you ever find the time to read these letters, my hope is that it encourages you not to be strong, but to be unashamed of your vulnerability and brokenness. take the risk to bare your heart and always remember that Jesus delights when we lay down at His feet.
Written July 4, 2022.
I cannot rely on moments, but I can always trust God’s process. God is not a God of moments, He is a God of process.
There are times na pag may one moment akong naexperience, I always thought, “This could be God’s confirmation [in this particular aspect I’m fighting for in prayer.]” But that’s not how God works. He does not show His will through instant moments — most of the time these moments are just fleeting and temporary.
Confirmation can only be found in the Word.
No presence, no intimacy, no Word means no confirmation of God’s will.
It can sound too spiritual but I really cannot rely on my gut. I cannot rely on my preference (though it matters and it counts.) I cannot rely on what others want for me.
I need to go to the Lord and seek His will. I want to wrestle well because I want to bear fruit well. I desire permanent fruit. The fruit of love, peace, joy and righteousness. I want my wrestle in God’s presence to be honoring and pure.
Kahit pala gaano kaganda ang moment, kung hindi ito ang will, hindi ko dapat itong gustuhin. Sa kabilang banda, kahit gaano rin ka imposible, kung ito ang will, may kaparaanan ang Lord at ipapakita niya ang paraan na yun para makakilos ako at makasunod sa gusto niyang mangyari.
This season what God requires of me is a seeking heart. In all areas, ito ang desire ko, mag depend at maging fully secured sa Word. other people’s voices and preferences don’t mean much when I know what my Father says. I won’t give license sa mga unauthorized voices na mag speak sa buhay ko. I want to focus on what God says dahil hindi ko mahihiwalay ang purpose ko sa sinabi Niya. dito lang ako magreremain at magiging founded. I need to pay more attention to God’s truth para mapanindigan ko ang totoong guarded na puso.
I believe in His timing and I am confident that He thinks, plans, and acts better than me. I can never contend and doubt God’s ways and thoughts for me. He knows what He is doing and He has always wanted the best for my life.
May I be courageous, humble and pure as I seek. I want my seeking to bear good fruit. I want it to produce wisdom and understanding in my decision making. I desire to be aligned with the Lord even in seasons that I don’t feel His move or I hesitate to obey. I want my heart to be found secure. I desire my worship to be undignified and broken before God. I want the Spirit to dwell in me and call me his friend.
Thank you Lord for helping me understand my heart. In unguarded moments, peace is found in your presence.
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