lola,

today you are 11 years away.

and if im going to be honest,

family celebrations were never the same since you left.

but today i choose to celebrate your life, your light, and the many ways you were so beautifully flawed, so perfectly....human.

everyday, i consciously strive to remember (and understand the reasons for) the steps and paths you took in your lifetime. i do this not to repeat history, but to learn from every single thing and choose life again and again.

lola, the woman i am becoming is greatly influenced by the things you did (and didn't do), and i hope i am making you proud.

i always remember telling childhood stories in class when i was a kid. i was not very much ashamed about my concept of "home" because despite the things i lack growing up, you were there. and you were more than enough for me to tell a story about home.

i will always miss you and long for your presence.

but i write this with no traces of misery and regret, all that's left in me is peace and fondness with every thought of you.

i will never tire of writing for and about you.

this way i keep you alive.

dance now in heaven with strong feet.