“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can You be embraced by the One most dear to you..” Matthew 5:3–4 MSG
If I could sum up what I have learned this season, it’s this: Jesus can really be enough. This is the season I felt like dear things have been taken away from me..but I guess sometimes, for us to genuinely discover that He is truly enough, we’d have to experience things being taken away from us so that we’d reach the end of ourselves.
This season, I’ve gone through difficult days, but it gets better. It really does…and it’s only because of Jesus. I’ve experienced being delivered and restored, I’ve seen a miracle because I was desperately in NEED of it.
Being at the receiving end of His grace changed the posture of my heart.
I’ve kept this reminder on my journal — “the goal of all of this is to see You..” every battle is an opportunity to see Him, appreciate His nature, experience the fullness of His presence.. and be touched by Him and hear from Him again. It is true that in every season, there is a song that will carry you and move your heart. I have no words for the pain I went through, so I listen to this song and it reminds me that there is a God who patiently deals with me.
Take it all away
’Til all that’s left is You
Take it all away
’Til all that’s left is Your love
You’ll give us the desires of our heart
You’ll give us what to want
You’ll give us what to crave
’Til all that’s left is You
Purify my heart
Create in me a clean heart
’Til all that’s left is You
There’s a cleansing happening now
Lift your hands
There’s a cleansing happening now
The divine surgeon
He’s in the room, oh
Even the things you don’t know that are there
He’s taking it out, but He’s gentle
He’s taking it out with His fire
He’s taking it out with His love, His love, His love
He’s a gentle surgeon
He won’t hurt you
All of this has made me more mindful, more aware, more reverent.
And now, isn’t it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You’re more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you’ve come out of this with purity of heart. And that is what I was hoping for in the first place when I wrote the letter. My primary concern was not for the one who did the wrong or even the one wronged, but for you — that you would realize and act upon the deep, deep ties between us before God.
(2 Corinthians 7:11–12 MSG)
How can we experience the reality of Him without being in a place of lack?
How can we experience His comfort without going through the pain?
How can we see His provision without being in a place of need?
How can we value His presence without being shaken?
He pursues radically even when all I’m able to give sometimes are bits and pieces of little acts of trust and surrender. On the flip side, this pursuing love is what moves me to love Him even more. There’s absolutely no condemnation over the things I miss out on. In times when I’ve momentarily chosen the second best, He never scares me that I won’t be able to go back to Him. Instead, He breathes destiny and purpose over my life. He doesn’t fall off of His throne when I decide to hide for a moment or tell Him I’m hurt and afraid. He loves still. He delights in my quiet ‘yes’ and simple offering. He loves to walk with me in the process I’m in. Even if I count the complete cost of my surrender, it’s absolutely nothing compared to what He’s done on the cross.
This is my hope: all that happened this season, whether good or bad, are all part of a greater story He is creating through my life so I can show the world how enough He is. If I say yes to being the salt and light, it means I’ll have to go through all the breaking, so I would understand when others break too.
